youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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