How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
