He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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