too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
