So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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