Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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