Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
