It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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