Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
