I want to have your abortion
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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