I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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