she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
