I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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