I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im holly from the hills drunk
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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