Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
