just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
