Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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