The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
