Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
