I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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