Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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