sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
