There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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