BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
