I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
