I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize