Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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