benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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