My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
