The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
