You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
