Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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