That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
