Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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