Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
