but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
