So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
