Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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