I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
