hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
