Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
