Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize