i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I still have a little drunk in my system
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
