I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
