Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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