I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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