You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
