The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
