I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
