1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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