so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
