the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I party with great urgency now.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
