is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
