NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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