It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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