Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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