Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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