I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize