it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
