I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
