It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
