Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize