does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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