I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
