Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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